How Competitive is Your Relationship?

In answer to the question above – mine is very competitive. But I like that, Its fun that way.

We are competitive when we are playing with the children – I like to really smash him at  badminton during our annual summer tournament in France (That’s another give away to our competitive spirit: we call everything a ‘tournament’) We are competitive with cooking and other domestic tasks. (No. I’M BETTER AT CLEANING A BATHROOM)

and, we have been known to have the odd physical rufty-tufty. I like to show him that this girl can pack a punch (when the children aren’t watching of course) at which point, he likes to remind me of his manly strength and pin me down with a touch of brut force, either that or things usually end with a sweet little ‘death by Chinese burn’.

I promise you – We are mature adults, honestly.

Allow me to give you another excellent example of how my husband and I end up competing over everything :

We have our annual Healthcare Physical check-ups on the horizon. I knew that it was close and coming up, so I knew that once it was booked in, I would need to get my arse into gear a little. You know, just to improve on last years metabolic age, or say, last years fat to muscle ratios. It goes without saying that I cant allow any slippage in last years stellar figures. (If those figures are to change, then its only acceptable if its a change in the right direction :The ‘rub his face in it’ direction)

I know that. He knows that.

So imagine my utter dismay at being informed this morning over breakfast by MrF , that he had taken the liberty of booking us in for a cancellation slot THIS weekend. This very saturday! This is not good people, not good.

Why might this not be good for me?

Well I shall tell you. As my husband very well knows, for such a screening, I, along with him, will want to be in peak condition, yes?

Yes.

Am I currently in peak condition?

No.

Do I have time to quickly make some necessary tweaks and improvements in order to improve my physical score (er, I mean review) ? no, not really.

Feck! You see, not wishing to be using our all important health as reason for marital competition, it kinda really is.

Please tell me we are not the only ones being drawn into a ‘Liver function’ competition??

ok. Iron levels??

How about other couples who surely must play top-trumps with a ‘shoddy lung score’ against a ‘underlying bilirubin syndrome’ … those couples exist, don’t they?

See here’s the thing – my husband is 9 years older than me and loves nothing more than using me as his own personal ‘age gauge’. He wants to be fitter than me, stay awake in the evenings longer than me, He likes to say ‘No’ to wine before I’ve had the chance, just to spite me with his virtue. Hell, that dude even tries to eat more kale than me. I have to watch him like a hawk.

So Imagine his face when we sat down last year to browse our physical reviews. We compared our ‘Metabolic age’ scores (oh, I mean assessments)

I got age 24. (I’m actually 34) so, not bad not bad.

he got age 27. That’s Twenty-seven. He is 43 for god sake!

The metabolic age gap is closing people. He is becoming Benjamin Button. And I am becoming some kind of Mrs Robinson.

and with only 4 days between now and this years scores (I mean review)  … I’m screwed.

I know that my body-fat ratios aren’t quite hitting the spot. I know that my resting heart rate wont be dazzling anyone this year. And I know that my liver function might well blurt out this past weekends secrets. Damn it.

He on the other hand, is all lean, and bendy. He HAS been eating more kale than me.

I don’t want to set the wrong impression or anything, I adore that lean, bendy man with the un-canny and gravity defying glutes, whom I’m lucky enough to call my own. But we do like a bit of healthy completion. Even if it is a Healthy competition.

I must now prepare for the humiliation brought on by my ever-so-slightly older husband top-trumping my not so miraculous arse out of that clinic this weekend. The only thing I’ve got to hold on to is the fact that my potassium levels might not be quite so through the roof this year, thanks to some pretty major banana consumption cold-turkey already undertaken. Thank you universe for that, at least.

Ok. I had better be off to cardio the hell out of my system. Quickly. While there is still time.