The joy of socks

Had one of those days when it seemed like the chores wouldn’t end. You know?

Tuesday morning I went out to my swimming lesson. Loyal readers of my drivel will know I’ve started swimming lessons and I’m pleased to report all is going well. Teri has me swimming across the pool without one of those polystyrene noodle things some people call woggles or sausages. This is more swimming than I’ve done in 34 years. Okay, so I ingested half the pool and got overtaken by Elaine, a grandmother in her 70’s, but it’s progress.

I got home, had lunch and decided to sit and write. I also decided to restart Guess My Soup next week, so watch my Twitter feed for all soup related fun.

Writing lasted about 3 minutes, after I realised I’d better start contemplating dinner, and I should put the washing on, and really ought to put the clothes away from the wash I did yesterday, and I should hoover and, oh bugger, the cat’s brought in a dead bird, so I’d better mop the kitchen floor and…

…then I think I screamed.

I wondered if I was having some form of breakdown. I checked if I was wearing underwear and if I was indoors. I was, so I reckoned it wasn’t a breakdown. It was just an expression of frustration.

So. I got to it. No rest for the flaky.

Dinner was going to be an exercise in using stuff up so decided to bung various things in the slowcooker and hope something nice would result. Last time I did this I made ‘Coconut Cat Food’ surprise so perhaps I should learn my lesson and develop a plan. You need a plan.

Then it was time to put a wash on and then… hmmm… decisions decisions. Should I put the washing away or vacuum first?

I’m sure modern men, dads like Jay Z, Kanye and David Beckham don’t have such decisions to make.

Well, Kanye might. He’s had to tighten his belt so maybe he’s got a white wash on as we speak.

Then it was time to pair up socks and put them away. The joy of socks. Socks socks socks socks socks. I lost count after 40 pairs and gave up after I got sock blindness. You know, when you can’t tell the difference between one white school sock and another white school sock. And when you’ve lost THE WILL BECAUSE IT’S ALL SO TEDIOUS.

I sat on the bed and wondered if I’m doing Being A Man correctly. Shouldn’t I be out there doing manly things, like conversing about football with other men down the pub, wrestling bears, or creating something from wood using my bare hands?

No. There aren’t many bears in Barnsley and my woodworking days ended when I once made a bird table out of an old bench and the thing had to be nailed to a fence because if a bird landed on top it fell over.

To be honest, I usually quite enjoy doing the mundane things like housework after tackling The Cupboard of Doom last year. I’m lucky in that I’m able to do all this while my partner is out working. The housework is all done and there’s a lovely meal on the table when she comes home. Life’s good, and I’m pretty sure all this domesticity makes me a Modern Man, whatever one of those is. I’m proud that as a Modern Man I can cook, clean and work out which product is best for removing pen from a white school shirt. I don’t cook in a fancy Masterchef sous vide and chocolate fondant sort of way. I make hearty food which usually goes down well, and I learnt how to cook and clean because mum was an alcoholic and if I didn’t do it then it’d be fishfingers and chips every night and dirty shirts to go to school in.

I thought about my grandad, and wondered what he’d make of all this. He was a big Irish man who spent years digging the roads with a pickaxe for the gas board, or being gassed when he was sent to fix a leak. Is he looking down on me and thinking ‘Putting Frozen pants and Minion socks away is NOT MAN’S WORK!’

I doubt it. My gran said he could sew, darn, knit and clean better than anyone she knew. “He’d make someone a good wife” she once said.

Reckon I might too.

Thanks for reading.

Do you have days when the cooking, cleaning and washing bore you to tears? Do you enjoy these tasks or do you feel reduced to the role of robot? What is a Modern Man? Should I just go down the pub and get ratarsed? Please let us know what you think, and what your day consists of, or how you feel about Life in general by leaving a comment. And please share if you like what you’ve read. Love you bye!






16 comments on The joy of socks

  • Laura

    My husband does the ‘modern man’ bit – I reckon it’s more down to him being OCD but he does the cleaning because if I do it he just does it again, and whilst I don’t mind cooking – he actually likes doing it to relax. If I thought he was getting really pissed off with it all I think I’d do more – but it just seems to be very routine. However, I think he balances it all with a healthy amount of beer, wine and football!

    What I find absolutely pathetic is listening to Mum friends whose husbands complain about shirts not being ironed etc. In my mind they definitely need to grow a pair and find the iron themselves. Modern men are far more attractive.
    Laura recently posted…Design: Gift guide for kids partiesMy Profile

    • @adadcalledspen

      Indeed. If they want them ironed so much then they presumably know where the iron and ironing board is? Glad to know your other husband has a good balance. He sounds like a thoroughly modern man and a throughly good one to boot. 🙂

      Thanks for taking the time to comment. 🙂
      @adadcalledspen recently posted…The joy of socksMy Profile

  • Dean of Little Steps

    Every single blimming day of my life – yes! And the chores seem endless too… oh and the socks! There also must be some sort of “socks hole”, where all the lost pairs go. When you find it, do give me a shout, I ned them all back 😉

    • @adadcalledspen

      There’s another dimension, surely, where all the socks end up. I’m sure there’s a sci-fi short story in there somewhere!

      Thanks for reading, and if I find any of your socks I’ll send them back to you.
      @adadcalledspen recently posted…The joy of socksMy Profile

  • Katy - Hot Pink Wellingtons

    I feel your pain on the sock front! I also think we make it harder for men – I hate pairing my husband’s socks – my pairs all look very different, so they’re easy to find, but his are all either black or navy, but each pair has a minor difference (a little pattern, a thin stripe around the top) that means you must find its actual pair! It drives me mad!
    Katy – Hot Pink Wellingtons recently posted…The Garden in MarchMy Profile

  • VaiChin @RamblingThroughParenthood

    Most days, sigh! Wish I had a magic wand to wave and voila! All the housework gets done so I can sit and write without having to think about doing it 🙂
    VaiChin @RamblingThroughParenthood recently posted…Sky Blanket 2016: February UpdateMy Profile

  • Hayley - Downs Side Up

    Ah yes modern drudgery. I can top this by telling you that World DS Day (March 21) is wear your odd socks day and I still haven’t paired ours up a year later…. Resolutely not joining in with that pr stunt again this year!
    Hayley – Downs Side Up recently posted…Thanks to the Many Types of Mummy on Mother’s DayMy Profile

    • @adadcalledspen

      Sounds like you might have to join in by default, if you haven’t got your socks all matched by then?

      Thanks for taking the time to comment.

  • Sassy

    Hey, I’m blind so I leave the task of pairing socks to my partner, which he really hates! Also because he is happy to wear odd socks whereas I am not! Funny really considering I can no longer see them!
    He does however do his fair share of housework, and a great cook! Modern man is the way to go! 🙂 xxx

  • Ana De- Jesus

    Now that is what I call a Modern Man. I love this what a top bloke to be comfortable with reversing gender roles because lets face it, it is the 21st century so why do we feel the need to label ourselves when all jobs, traits and aesthetics are open to all regardless of gender? I like that he is proud to cook and clean and I admire how he shared his need to be able to cook, clean and wash from a young age because of his mother’s alcoholism.

  • Cliona

    Oh you are right, it IS all so tedious! I really don’t enjoy housework although the very odd time I don’t mind and like the house to be semi organised:) I think we have about 3 million mismatched socks in our house at this stage. I’ve actually seriously contemplated just throwing out every single one and starting again!

  • Rachel

    I would do most household chores (once reminded unfortunately for my other half – I haven’t yet evolved to thinking of doing those tasks myself beyond the random, unexplainable TOTAL clean); but I cannot abide pairing and folding socks.
    Reading your writing warms my heart. Please continue 🙂

  • Mudpie Fridays

    We tend to share as we both work long hours 4 days a week so we can keep Monkey with us more than childcare, although I must admit since having him the house has never been as clean as it use to be, washing is always hanging drying somewhere and we live on takeout when its just the two of us eating. Other than that we have is sussed!! 🙂
    Mudpie Fridays recently posted…The Milky Way Adventure ParkMy Profile

  • Deborah Ewing-Chow

    Another lovely post. Ah yes the tedium and as for socks well I think they should be added to the philosophical discussions of the human condition along with “wiping”..if anything felt pointless – as in we have to do this all again next week , socks do. My lovely (sadly now deceased) sister in law and mother of 4, part time mid wife and lecturer use to put a basket of mixed up clean socks at the top of the stairs and at a certain age leave the offspring and her husband ( so that’s 12 socks/day + sports…..) to pick what they wanted/needed x

  • Candace

    Housework!!!! I hate it. You do in and in no time someone has messed things up or the dust has reappeared

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