After just a little over year of blogging outfits on ZmG’s #FridayStylefinder post, I wanted to do a write an explanation of sorts. A conclusion, if you will.
So, question: do I choose to write about fashion because I’m an expert; a qualified stylist; a total legend in the style stakes? God NO! and nor do I, for any amount of cotton-pickin’ seconds think that that I posses any particular flair for the subject. I just love it is all. And that’s all there is to it really – That’s the only reason I write these posts.
I guess one of the perks to owning your very own website is that you can write about and publish whatever you like. You basically just write something down, hit publish and hope that someone somewhere will enjoy reading it and take something from it. And ideally, not having anyone hurl a ton of abuse at you is always nice, too.
The truth is: I’m a girls girl, and I love discussing what I may or may not be wearing for an upcoming something or other. Having the opportunity to ask a reader ‘What d’you think? Does my bum look big in this?’ … ‘Seriously, maybe a bit?’ is actually pretty fun and interesting. Because one thing is for sure – the internet is very honest. And I know that people will tell me within a second if I look like a craphead!
(That’s another good thing about having your own site. If you want to use the word ‘craphead’, then you can)
So every Friday, (except for during school holidays) I invite my readers into m’boudoir (ooh er, misses), where I take some very amateur style iPhone selfies in the mirror, and I simply talk (some might say waffle) about outfits. That’s it. That’s as deep as it goes. But let me tell you, having people say to me “Oh, I ordered that bag” or, “I’m buying that dress next payday” is seriously satisfying stuff!
Its a simple concept, but we girls just love looking at what each other is wearing, don’t we? Sure, these type of posts aren’t going to change the world or anything, but we all have to get dressed each day, so In my mind discussing such sartorial matters is no less important that that of, say, cookery or, what everyone thinks of Kanye West. Trivial? perhaps. Important? Er, Tout a fait!
Truth be told, I also have a far more personal reason as to why I enjoy clothes a little more nowadays. Okaaay, let me explain …
I’ve NEVER enjoyed getting dressed. Never, ever, ever. Its always been a part of my day that I’ve hated, in fact, for as far back as I can remember (and we’re talking childhood) getting dressed has always been tantamount to misery with a capitol ‘M’.
Probably* because of body confidence issues and hating the whole ‘looking in the mirror’ thing (*definitely), and probably* because I’ve never been any good at picking clothes out for myself (*factoid).
Hmm. Ok, lets get Freudian here, shall we?
I had my first baby when I was 19 (Ooh, I know, naughty!) and so, before I even had a chance to enjoy any semblance of adulthood, freedom, a decent bod or say, a salary to blow on clothes from Miss Selfridge, My needs, my figure, and especially the clothes on my back, were pushed to the very bottom of the priorities list. I mean, That’s ok. Were not exactly talking about life or death here, No need to strike out the violins or anything, but upon reflection, I can see that this did, one-hundred percent, kick-off over a decade of feeling like, well, quite shit really.
I know, silly isn’t it?
But … fat, frumpy, un-fashionable, tired, fat, wobbly, tired and fat basically sums up my feelings towards myself during that period of time. With REALLY RUBBISH CLOTHES to boot. (Yep, probably had terrible boots, too).
No-one made me feel like this. Its just how it was.
(I went on to have 3 more babies by the way. So I’m certainly not trying to lump all of this self-glumdom on poor baby number 1!)
But, 4 babies or no 4 babies – that’s your twenties for you, right? It’s a decade so often fuelled with insecurities, even for the more secure ones among us; the seemingly perfect ones with everything just so. I think that maybe all Women are programmed to go through these times of self-loathing. No, its not much fun, but hey, it does end. Hopefully.
For me, that negative mindset ended two years ago. At age 33, I had had my fourth baby two years before said life-altering-epiphany-of-wonder, and whilst I was, of course extremely happy and in-love with my family and my life, physically, I felt awful. Both physically broken and mentally drained. My goodness, having 4 children is really hard in the beginning, isn’t it? (er, duh!).
My body was a bit broken because of my last pregnancy actually; with a bad lower back, a clicky and badly aligned pelvis (Thanks to my son with THE GIANT head, ram-raiding his way out sideways with absolutely no consideration for his mothers skeletal system). I was a stone and a half heavier than I should be, with wobbly, mushy everything and I possessed the fitness levels of a lazy old Granny. A gran who said ‘Oohmph’ every time she got up from the sofa and bent down to get something.
Now, as ultra-glamorous as all that sounds, something about my physical condition felt intrinsically wrong to me – I had to take action. I had to sort myself out. I was 33, not 73!
So I did. Take action that is.
I threw myself at the Tracy Anderson 90 day Metamorphosis plan: I sweated, and I screamed my way to a respectable level of fitness by the end of day 90. All in the comfort of my own lounge.
It was bloody hard work to begin with. But where sheer grit and determination lies, lies also a much firmer arse it seems.
By day 90, I had not only lost the fatty, wobbly soft mush which coated my entire body, I had lost the inches and the pounds that I loathed so much. And I’d also righted my knackered old abdominal muscles too which -thanks to Mr Big-head – were completely separated on day 1 of 90 (diastasis Recti) into the bargain. My hips were stronger (and stopped clicking) and my lower back was fixed (because I had built back my core strength which takes the slack off of your back).
I got the fitness bug too, and I had cottoned on to the fact that by insisting on ‘Mummy having her workout time’, I also gained an hour of ‘me time’ each day. Bonus. (Fit people try to tell you stuff like this when you’re not fit, and its really annoying, but now I see – they weren’t lying. Annoying? yes. But truthful.)
I still do TA each week (I do the Continuity and the Live Streaming) and two years on I continue to see improvements in my physique. I also go to the gym for cardio, so all-in-all, I make time for exercise at least 4 times a week (and heaven help the person who tries to stand in my way!) … Its meant that I’m a lot less stressed, (there is NO stress that I can’t overcome and sweat out with a bit of good music and the cross-trainer wacked up high!) I’ve got the foodie freedom to eat what I like, but above all, all this exercise business has made me confident again.
But, the point to my story is this: I like getting dressed again. Harrah!
I like having fun with my clothes, and that feels so refreshing to me – like a fun new hobby or something. And being at a weight which no longer fluctuates means that I can invest in my clothes happily again. If I buy a jacket today (which I’m totally about to – Hello Boden Icons range!) I know It will fit me for as long as it lasts.
Now, I’m certainly not wishing to seemingly hyperbole the hell of this, but the honest truth is that that TA plan saved me and put me on the road to feeling so much better. It fixed and rehabilitated my post-natal body, and it showed me what fitness feels like. And as a really, REALLY good and liberating cherry on the top, It’s showed me what fitness looks like too (my body looks much nicer now!).
I’m not perfect. far from it. I still have a bit of cellulite on my bum – but, who cares? and although I have abdominal muscles now (which I’m very proud of I MIGHT ADD!) The skin which lays over them is still akin to that of a puppy’s neck. But then of course it would be, it stretched to house and grow an entire house full of people! so I quite like it, its cool. And those cheeky little stretchmarks that I have? I love em! they serve to be my fabulous reminder of how wonderful the human body is. And after so many years of being extremely blessed to be either Pre/Anti/ or Post-Natal, I’ve been able and lucky enough to claim my body back for me now. And that, ladies, is something that I highly recommend.
Taking time for ones health isn’t about being vein. Its about looking after what you’ve got, which, according to my much happier and healthier mind, is entirely natural, essential and vital to our wellbeing.
And we are each more than worthy of that.
If you enjoy reading my Friday Stylefinder posts each week, I’d love it if you would consider voting for Zeit My Geist in the Brilliance in Blogging awards (BiB’s 2016) in the Fashion and Beauty category, using the link below. Many thanks indeed for your consideration x
Thank you for reading. And how are you? – Do you have body confidence? have you ever had it, or aren’t you that fussed? And what about getting dressed each day – Is it heaven of hell for you? Do leave a comment in the box below, I’d love to know how everyone else feels about this.