I heard the actor Matt Damon explain something on TV over the weekend. He was on Graham Norton’s chat show, and he was discussing his Oscar win for his (and Ben Afflecks) screenplay Good Will Hunting back in 1997. His chat with Graham Norton went a bit like this …
‘So I won the Oscar at age 27. And after all the champagne, when I was back home, my (then) girlfriend was asleep and I just looked at my award. It was just me and it. And all I could think was “thank god I didn’t have to fuck anyone over to get this” …” thank god I didn’t spend a whole lifetime trying to get one of these, because this alone could never be enough. This could never fill a hole” … thank god I learnt that at such an early age ‘
It struck me that he seemed to have a credulous appreciation for understanding what stuff could make him eternally happy, and what stuff never could.
And at 27. His Oscar wasn’t enough.
There are dreams. Then there are dreams. Some can fill you up. Some never can. Some can still leave you feeling empty.
Of course dreams and goals are all entirely subjective. So one person’s Oscar is another person’s Ferrari. Or Business … or Marriage … or baby, or prize winning carrot crop etcetera etcetera.
But what if you do get your Oscar (and I’m being all metaphorical now) what then? What next?
Hmm.
So, there I was sitting on the sofa on Friday night, big glass of red wine in my hand; sleepy husband beside me. And I couldn’t help but get all late-night-slightly-drunk and introspective and ask myself ‘what, so far, is enough for me in this here life?’(seeing as I will never be in receipt of an Oscar anyway. Metaphorical or otherwise)
Well that is easy. My husband is. He is enough. He is all I will ever need. He fills me up.
(sorry to get all ‘Whitney’ on you … Also, don’t be crude. I know what you’re thinking)
Now, I would add my children in here too because of course, they are the centre of our universe …But, I am fully aware that they will journey away from us one day, as is only right. They will have their own lives to lead with their own dreams. And so I fear that seeking a full-on lifelong feeling of completion from ones children may eventually prove futile.
I think that lots of people just don’t take the time to figure this stuff out. Dreams and goals I mean. And sometimes, when they do, it’s often too late because they’ve already fucked it. ‘It’ being what matters most to them. (Sorry to use the ‘F’ word but, Matt Damon started it)
And so I ask – What is ‘enough’ for you? Have you achieved it yet? and if not, can you figure out your empty dreams from your full and meaningful ones?
If you have ‘it’ already, don’t forget to notice, will you.
Don’t get caught up chasing the next thing at the expense of what you already have.
Ooh that was deep, wasn’t it? And perhaps a little bossy. Sorry about that. Am I just spouting nonsense here? should I stop taking Matt Damons teachings so seriously?