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Technology. I hate you.

Closeup portrait of angry young man, blowing steam coming out of ears, about to have nervous atomic breakdown isolated gray background. Negative human emotions facial expression feelings attitude

Technology eh? Last night I was gonna give it up for good. Go live in a cave like that fella. I swear, the tablet, the cat and everything in the room almost went out the window. Yesterday we went to McDonalds. I couldn’t be arsed cooking. I’d exercised the previous day and ached in bits I couldn’t name. A Happy Meal is a rare treat for the girls, and very happy with it the girls were too. It included a toy from the Angry Birds movie and a voucher for a free Angry Birds ebook. We saw the film at the weekend…

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Is live streaming a birth on Facebook oversharing?

Now there’s sharing, and there’s over-sharing. Did you hear the one about the man who live streamed his child’s birth on Facebook? Now I know there are some people who’ll do anything for their 10 minutes of fame and I’m sure we blogging types are guilty of a little oversharing at times, but did this guy go too far? Fakamalo Kilhe Eiki obviously has a very understanding wife, because I don’t know of anyone who’d ever agree to this, no matter what his point was. And he had one. As the backlash hit, Eiki defended his decision by questioning others…

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Let’s talk about sex

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On Thursdays I pick up my stepdaughters from school. We walk along the main road and as we get nearer home and cross the road by the traffic lights, my heart sinks. I feel like a man facing a firing squad. Because, as we pass the front garden on the corner, the girls shout ‘Yay! It’s The Friendly Doggies!’ Why does my heart sink? Why are these four Spaniels of differing colours and ages called The Friendly Doggies? Why would I prefer to be facing a firing squad at that exact moment? Well, the dogs rush to the fence and greet…

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A step in the right direction

On Friday my partner left for work as usual, and my stepdaughters and I had breakfast, as usual. My eldest step daughter was stating how she had a Big Write to finish at school; a treatise on how she should be the leader of the Anglo-Saxon tribe and not Ethelred The Ready, her opposition for the position. I suspect it was to encourage persuasive argument, tied up with a bit of history. All good stuff. She’s 10. I’ll always be supportive and advise with schoolwork. So I decided to support, and advise. “Back in the day,” I began, “the question…

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Sleep is for the weak

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I saw a piece on the news last week talking about undersleeping. At first I thought it was an April Fool, like the spaghetti tree or that little Lirpa Loof fella on That’s Life but it wasn’t. Undersleeping isn’t a joke. It’s much more dangerous than that. You know oversleeping? It’s like that. But more opposite. Being serious for just one cotton picking minute, insomnia is hell for those who suffer on a regular basis and it’s proven that lack of sleep can adversely effect one’s mood and quality of life. A recent poll of 2,000 adults revealed they get an average…

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An awkward moment

scared man

As you may know, I’m at home most days. I do the breakfasts, the school run, then I sit down to do some writing. I have lunch, then I clean and do the cooking for dinner. I’m a busy man. I don’t often find the time to walk around stark bollock naked. But I’m wondering now if I might have a reputation for doing so. This week’s writing prompt from @Post40Bloggers is ‘an awkward moment’ and so it seems like a good time to… well. Let me explain. Are you sitting comfortably? It was a normal day. I wrote for a…

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52 reasons why your kids are drunk all the time

Close Up Of Boy Drinking Soda From Bottle

I’m pretty sure kids drink when we’re not looking. Let’s examine the evidence for this theory. Moody when they wake up? Yep. Just like an alcoholic. Talking rubbish? Yep. Boozed off their tits. Falling over invisible things? Yep. Definitely swallied. Seemingly unable to do simple tasks like eating without covering themselves, and others, in food. And then giggling about it? YEP. As pished as a pished fish. Why do you think they’re always asking you for money? This morning we had fingers trapped in a window. Why? No-one could answer why. I can. Because they’re drunk. What did you do…

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Write, right?

Hands writing on old typewriter over wooden table background

Last week began with dreadful back ache. I couldn’t stand, sleep or do the hokey cokey without groaning, grumbling or making that ‘oof’ sound men make when they’re bending down, or getting up from bending down, and want to show how much effort it’s taken them. I was under instructions to rest, which I did as much as I could but, in the words of Shakespeare, shit don’t do itself, so I still had to do the hoovering and put the washing away. You see, the ironing and cleaning fairies don’t visit this house, I think they got killed in…

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The words for this week’s spelling test are…

What do the words mendacious, jocular, desultory, insouciant and furtive mean to you? For some it might mean their ex-husbands, but not for us at Chez Us. The words for this week’s spelling test are…   Yep. Seriously. I put this to Twitter the other night, in the following way: I received a number of responses, from parents, from those in the teaching profession and from some who’re both, and all seemed rather surprised that these words were in a spelling test for 9 – 10 year olds. Should we be? Should this be so surprising? Do you think this is…

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Who the f*** do you think you are?

Family tree

I don’t know if it’s something one does when one gets to a certain age but I signed up to a website which allows you to search public records to find your family history. For a free, two-week trial period I can search millions of records, including census records, birth, marriage and death certificates, immigration documentation and much much more. I can piece together my family’s history and, through research and investigation, watch my family tree grow before my very eyes. Or something like that. As I was growing up I didn’t pay a great deal of attention to the whos…

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