Browsing CategoryA Mans World

I bought myself a present

Amazon Echo Dot

  “I bought myself a present.” By the look on my partner’s face I could tell she knew what I ‘d done. It’s an old discussion isn’t it? How do you describe who you’re in a relationship with? We’re not married, so wife doesn’t fit. Some use ‘other half’ but it kinda means you’re not a whole person if you’re by yourself. Actually, that’s kinda true: I’m rubbish by myself. I could use other terms, I guess. Lover, but that seems too French. “Hello Father O’Flaherty, I want you to meet my lover…” Girlfriend seems inappropriate too. We’re in our…

What would go in your Room 101?

ironing board

Last time I wrote about how much I hate being in pain, and it’s safe to say it’s something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I recently thought how that has to go into my own Room 101 right? What else would I put in there? Of course, Room 101 in the Orwellian sense, in the book 1984 is the room used by the secret service to intimidate and torture people to conform or give information. It’s a room filled with that prisoner’s worst fears. But, in a perhaps more commonly known sense, in the sense of the BBC…

Baby Got Back

Thinking back, it’s been a shit few months. Actually, that’s not true. By and large everything is great. There’s just one thing that isn’t, and this one thing is overarching, affecting everything and everyone around me. You see, I’m waiting to have surgery, as some part of my old and decrepit spine is pushing on somewhere it shouldn’t, and often my arm or hands become useless. Usually my left. Which is splendid as I’m left-handed. If I don’t have surgery I could become quadriplegic. Actually, that’s also a side-effect of the surgery so it’s safe to say I’ve been bricking it…

Backed up, lacking in movement, somewhat constipated

toilet

In my last post I mentioned surgery is looming, but until then I have to take very strong painkillers. These painkillers work well some days, and not so well on others, depending on my level of exertion. If I do very little, they work well. If I do anything that involves some exertion; cleaning, cooking, lifting stuff, cycling, then they don’t work, and the pain is such that I have to take them every four hours. Being as I can’t just sit about and do nothing, I’m at the ‘taking them every four hours’ stage. There is, however, a known…

I don’t care if you are Jarvis Cocker, peaches do not go on pizza.

peach

A few months off the old writing game and what’s occurred? Well, by not blogging the world didn’t end. But it did go entirely mad. Those Little Twists adverts by Sainsburys in the middle of Cold Feet? No. Peaches do NOT go on pizza. Thank you. Donald Trump could be US President in two months. A man who’s filed for bankruptcy four times to get himself out of financial trouble could be in charge of the world’s largest economy and its nuclear codes? The man can’t even sort his freaking hair out, so this is a terrifying prospect. Not as terrifying…

Is your relationship in trouble?

News reached us this week that almost 1 in 5 couples are close to splitting up, according to research carried out by the relationship charity Relate. We at ZmG HQ are no strangers to heartbreak and heartache, so we’ve compiled a handy (but highly scientific and utterly accurate) quiz to help you decide if your relationship is on the rocks. Devised in association with renowned relationship experts, this quiz should help you work out whether it’s time to move in or move on, love them or leave them, get hitched or bury them in a ditch. That last one sounded a…

Technology. I hate you.

Technology eh? Last night I was gonna give it up for good. Go live in a cave like that fella. I swear, the tablet, the cat and everything in the room almost went out the window. Yesterday we went to McDonalds. I couldn’t be arsed cooking. I’d exercised the previous day and ached in bits I couldn’t name. A Happy Meal is a rare treat for the girls, and very happy with it the girls were too. It included a toy from the Angry Birds movie and a voucher for a free Angry Birds ebook. We saw the film at the weekend…

Is live streaming a birth on Facebook oversharing?

Now there’s sharing, and there’s over-sharing. Did you hear the one about the man who live streamed his child’s birth on Facebook? Now I know there are some people who’ll do anything for their 10 minutes of fame and I’m sure we blogging types are guilty of a little oversharing at times, but did this guy go too far? Fakamalo Kilhe Eiki obviously has a very understanding wife, because I don’t know of anyone who’d ever agree to this, no matter what his point was. And he had one. As the backlash hit, Eiki defended his decision by questioning others…

Let’s talk about sex

On Thursdays I pick up my stepdaughters from school. We walk along the main road and as we get nearer home and cross the road by the traffic lights, my heart sinks. I feel like a man facing a firing squad. Because, as we pass the front garden on the corner, the girls shout ‘Yay! It’s The Friendly Doggies!’ Why does my heart sink? Why are these four Spaniels of differing colours and ages called The Friendly Doggies? Why would I prefer to be facing a firing squad at that exact moment? Well, the dogs rush to the fence and greet…

A step in the right direction

On Friday my partner left for work as usual, and my stepdaughters and I had breakfast, as usual. My eldest step daughter was stating how she had a Big Write to finish at school; a treatise on how she should be the leader of the Anglo-Saxon tribe and not Ethelred The Ready, her opposition for the position. I suspect it was to encourage persuasive argument, tied up with a bit of history. All good stuff. She’s 10. I’ll always be supportive and advise with schoolwork. So I decided to support, and advise. “Back in the day,” I began, “the question…