Posts Written By@adadcalledspen

Pots and pans

  I’ve been thinking about my gran a lot recently. More than normal perhaps. Weird how you can miss someone who’s been dead for almost 20 years. My gran told me this story when I was growing up and, although I’ve told it before, she’s been on my mind, so indulge me. Besides it’s a good story. My gran and grandfather were both Irish, and while neither were educated and booksmart, both were bright people. This story isn’t an ‘Irish’ joke before you get all ‘right on’ on me. This actually happened. And yes, they really were both called Molly…

Happy New Year!

  Hello there, and happy new year to you and yours! It’s still close enough to January 1st to wish those you meet Happy New Year isn’t it? Of course it is. Anything else is just rudeness. Did you have a good one? Christmas that is. I trust you did, and I hope a jolly fat man came and emptied his sack in your living room. And I hope Santa visited you too. *Badoomtish* This really is just a quickie to let you know there are some changes afoot at ZMG HQ. Small ones. Not biggies. We’re just having a…

So this is Christmas…

  How are we all? Fed up of the C word already, or planned and prepared with everything wrapped and ready to go, or are you just gonna leave Christmas until the weekend, and panic buy for your nearest and dearest from the local garage? I realised I’d become old when I started buying this year’s Christmas presents, last year. A Gap sale was gwan and ting and I saw some hoodies which won’t fit my children now, but will next year. My gran taught me well. If I carry on like this I’ll be buying them adult clothes in April just because…

Are you chopped liver? A redundant parent?

are you chopped liver? a redundant parent?

When you become a parent you become chopped liver, redundant, pointless. You no longer mean anything… …to your own parents. Let me explain. Or let me put something to you. If you’re lucky enough to have parents that are alive, and you have kids, ask your mum or dad this question: If me and the kids were in a burning building, and you could only rescue the kids or me, who would it be? In essence, in a nutshell, in brief, in outline, to sum up… I put it to you that their answer would be, “the children”. Regretfully, you’re…

What are your best blog posts of 2016?

ZMB Best Blogs 2016

  2016. Wow. It’s been a tough year. But we’re not going to talk about that, are we? Instead we at ZmG HQ are concentrating on the good things, the brilliant things, the BEST things, and invite you (Yes, YOU!) to share your favourite blog posts of 2016. Wait till you see what we’ve got as an incentive, a carrot on a stick if you will, to lure you and entice you to join in. Well Zeit My Geist! Anyone heard of Alexa? Link up something you’ve written, something you’re proud of, something you’ve won an award for, something that,…

I bought myself a present

Amazon Echo Dot

  “I bought myself a present.” By the look on my partner’s face I could tell she knew what I ‘d done. It’s an old discussion isn’t it? How do you describe who you’re in a relationship with? We’re not married, so wife doesn’t fit. Some use ‘other half’ but it kinda means you’re not a whole person if you’re by yourself. Actually, that’s kinda true: I’m rubbish by myself. I could use other terms, I guess. Lover, but that seems too French. “Hello Father O’Flaherty, I want you to meet my lover…” Girlfriend seems inappropriate too. We’re in our…

What would go in your Room 101?

ironing board

Last time I wrote about how much I hate being in pain, and it’s safe to say it’s something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I recently thought how that has to go into my own Room 101 right? What else would I put in there? Of course, Room 101 in the Orwellian sense, in the book 1984 is the room used by the secret service to intimidate and torture people to conform or give information. It’s a room filled with that prisoner’s worst fears. But, in a perhaps more commonly known sense, in the sense of the BBC…

Baby Got Back

Thinking back, it’s been a shit few months. Actually, that’s not true. By and large everything is great. There’s just one thing that isn’t, and this one thing is overarching, affecting everything and everyone around me. You see, I’m waiting to have surgery, as some part of my old and decrepit spine is pushing on somewhere it shouldn’t, and often my arm or hands become useless. Usually my left. Which is splendid as I’m left-handed. If I don’t have surgery I could become quadriplegic. Actually, that’s also a side-effect of the surgery so it’s safe to say I’ve been bricking it…

Backed up, lacking in movement, somewhat constipated

toilet

In my last post I mentioned surgery is looming, but until then I have to take very strong painkillers. These painkillers work well some days, and not so well on others, depending on my level of exertion. If I do very little, they work well. If I do anything that involves some exertion; cleaning, cooking, lifting stuff, cycling, then they don’t work, and the pain is such that I have to take them every four hours. Being as I can’t just sit about and do nothing, I’m at the ‘taking them every four hours’ stage. There is, however, a known…

I don’t care if you are Jarvis Cocker, peaches do not go on pizza.

peach

A few months off the old writing game and what’s occurred? Well, by not blogging the world didn’t end. But it did go entirely mad. Those Little Twists adverts by Sainsburys in the middle of Cold Feet? No. Peaches do NOT go on pizza. Thank you. Donald Trump could be US President in two months. A man who’s filed for bankruptcy four times to get himself out of financial trouble could be in charge of the world’s largest economy and its nuclear codes? The man can’t even sort his freaking hair out, so this is a terrifying prospect. Not as terrifying…