10 signs that you’ve successfully reached the “Fuck You” level of life.

I recently watched The Gambler on Sky Box Office. John Goodman says the following to Mark Wahlberg : {Mark Wahlberg’s character is a compulsive Gambler By the way, but stick with me here as I think this is relevant to everyone} “You get up two and a half million dollars, any asshole in the world knows what to do: you get a house with a 25 year roof, an indestructible Jap-economy shitbox, you put the rest into the system at three to five percent to pay your taxes and that’s your base, get me? That’s your fortress of fucking solitude. That puts you, for the rest of your life, at a level of fuck you. Somebody wants you to do something, fuck you. Boss pisses you off, fuck you! Own your house. Have a couple bucks in the bank. Don’t drink. That’s all I have to say to anybody on any social level.” John Goodman, The Gambler. So, Gambler or not, Two and a half million dollars or not, 25 year roof or not, are you at Fuck you level yet? I sure as hell am.

Here is are some other signs to look out for:

  1. You can no longer be bought. You will absolutely not do anything you no longer want to, not for anyone, not for money – no matter how much.
  2. You don’t care how many friends you have, so long as the ones (or, singular even: one) you have is genuine then that is all you care about. The rest of the fakers and hopeless dementors can bother other people. It’s no big deal though, you’re over it.
  3. You’re super confident in yourself. This is because you have realised that you can truly count on you, AND YOU are frikkin’ fabulous and just so reliable! You don’t care what people think of you anymore. You feel free at last. And you don’t have to make so much effort anymore … this is because you’ve realised that being yourself, happens all by itself magically without planning or second guessing. Wow – how easy is that!
  4. You find yourself making up your own fashion. You wear what the hell you want. Who cares what Vogue says anyway!
  5. You realise that you can spot people not yet at Fuck you level, and you feel sorry for them. Though you know they will arrive and join you soon, and you hope for their sakes it won’t be too long.
  6. You cease making small talk with strangers you don’t care about at social functions. {You couldn’t be less interested at listening to what so-and-so’s aunt did to land up in prison on holiday, or why someone you’ve never met before knows someone who is related to someone going through a nasty divorce.} You walk away without a care in the world. Actually, chances are you are not even at the social function in the first place because you declined it {see sign number 10}
  7. Your favourite place in the world, is actually inside your own home. With a locked door, and a switched off phone.
  8. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but they don’t. And neither do names.
  9. You can spot an arsehole a mile off, and wisely leave it there. No, they can’t even have a single second of your time. Nope, not even a split one.
  10. You learn how to confidently and concisely say … NO thank you.

{Or… as the case may be, according to John Goodman’s character  – Fuck you!}  

Are you there yet? Yes? Congratulations my friend. I’ll drink to that {inside my fortress of solitude}

Anna x (PS. I am truly sorry for using such an offensive word in this post. But, it was kind of necessary in order to use the film quote)